I was wearing my Gryffindor shirt while Christmas shopping and there was this cute guy in a Slytherin hat and we made eye contact and he looked me up and down and said “10 points to Gryffindor” and winked at me and normally I hate being hit on but damn boy that’s the way to do it






excuse me sir but——


and thorin will be all like "I’M GONNA KILL ALL THESE GODDAMN DRAGONS!!!!!"


I’m so incredibly sorry

guys….that’s not thorin…that’s Bard…




Ask and you shall receive. Behold - The Majestic Moose

I reblogged before and i reblogged again

Panic! At The Disco - This is Gospel (acoustic)
8,703 plays


No wonder Bren won best vocalist…

legoman0721 and I have internet! We don’t know what do now.





Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.

Me: What black pen?

Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.

Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?

Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.

this almost made me cry

this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.

I feel ill


ahh nothing says valentine’s day like the glorification of an abusive relationship and the incorrect and destructive representation of BDSM

Vanilla porter + vanilla bean ice cream

Vanilla porter + vanilla bean ice cream




a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan

years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal

he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”



As a synonym for isomisogyny, may I suggest "I-can't-believe-it's-not-misogyny!" ?




I like it.

Only-tangentially-related: I made a joke once about:

a thin brown liquid, marketed under the trade name “I sure hope that’s not butter!”

At one point, due to events, it became desireable for me to make up a large selection of these, and put them in a video game. Some of them (like “roadsign yellow extreme butter substitute”) are mostly irrelevant, but you end up using a couple of them.

iirc, my contribution was “definitely some kind of lipid.”


The full list:

More Buttery Than Not
Are You Tired Of Choosing Between Guns And Butter
If That’s Butter, Then I’m Richard Nixon
Definitely Some Sort Of Lipid
It Goes On Toast, Anyway
Roadsign Yellow Extreme Butter Substitute
Butter My Ass!
You Could Convince Me That’s Not Butter
I Am Starting To Suspect That’s Not Butter
It Seems Probable That’s Not Butter
I Would Bet Money That’s Not Butter
Does That Look Like Butter To You?
I Sure Hope That’s Not Butter
Dear God, Don’t Let That Be Butter
That’s Too Thick To Be Butter!
That Looks More Like Hot Air Balloon Fuel Than Butter

The guns-and-butter one was “a fine black powder which spreads easily on toast”. They tended to have funny responses if you tried to smell or taste them. “Dear God, Don’t Let That Be Butter” was “a thick black substance which moves under its own power”. It had the special trait that any attempt to interact with it in normal ways would usually just produce “No.” but occasionally would say “You really have a death wish, don’t you?” You could also listen to it: “It whispers dark concepts in a language that bypasses your conscious mind entirely. Thoughts of death fill your head.”

The ones you actually needed were That Looks More Like Hot Air Balloon Fuel Than Butter (yes, there was a hot air balloon), and That’s Too Thick To Be Butter, a “thick, gritty, grey substance” which you used to repair a brick wall.